On a day off you'll find her curled up with a new juicy romance novel. BB: Wow, thats coming from the person Any time she read a sentence from my book, I started crying. And Im not going to do anything differently, but pop this balloon. Alright, Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Bruce Perry, thank you for bringing us Im going to hold it up with all my stuff. And the key is, and this is again at the heart of your work, is that the contractor for that reconstruction process is the relationship. BB: Yeah, it was so funny because at first I was like, Oh my God, Im so glad I didnt get picked, because I couldnt even do the balloon pop at all, like free to go.. Im a big British mysteries person. Oprah interviewed Michael's biggest fans and celebrity friends Gladys Knight, Smokey Robinson and Iman. Yeah. Whos been close to you, how youve been connected, that is protective in the presence of adversity, and I think that when medicine finally figures out how to do both, look at both, youre going to get a better understanding of the person in front of you. So I have Mark Nepos book, and I have Mary Olivers book called Devotions by the bed, and I also have Seat of the Soul is always there. And it had everybody Bob Dylan and Neil Young actually did a duet together. BP: It is, exactly. "She's a good person.". I was not her therapist. OW: Yeah, I stepped out just to see the moon. By Sage Anderson. Copyright 2023 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved. Shes here in the green room. And I said, What? And its like any new idea or concept, of course, that is somewhat at odds or tangential to the dominant body of thought in the field always gets attacked. Im still here. For me it was teachers, it was community, it was church. Through all of this, Meghan wants people to know that life is worth living and you can come out on the other side. Tap the link in my bio to purchase the book. Me on the balcony of my house, which is right outside the bedroom window. Its like, BB: Everything I did My parents had a very mercurial marriage and it was When it was good, it was great. So I want to start with a really, maybe deceptively simple question, but a question that I think is really important. If youre not in relationship, and you want to build a new pathway to health, you no longer use the old default thats getting you in trouble and you need to build new stuff, you need relationships. And the interesting thing, and we read a little bit about this in the book, is that human beings are social creatures, were neurobiologically and physiologically intended to be in relationship. OPRAH IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF HARPO, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2023 HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. You know, when I was telling that story, I was going to say, And Im sure you did the same thing, Bren, because everybody does it one way or another. Oprah Winfrey's recent interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry shocked the world as the conversation's ripple effect on the internet lasted days after its premiere.. Oprah has now . Oprah also took to her official Instagram page to break down how personal the book is for her. I just didnt want to be alive anymore., Meghan said that at one point she asked a senior royal about the possibility of seeking inpatient care, and was told that would not be possible because it wouldnt be good for the institution.. OW: But I was 34 before that happened. What Happened to You? I didnt know it until I read this dang thing in the book, but I just wanted to know that I was good enough and that I belonged. Heres an old toy that your mom gave us thats your toy, and heres a new toy. At the time, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced . Okay. A stronger Basically, its like weight-lifting for your stress response system, but any activation of your stress response, even little, thats unpredictable and uncontrollable, or prolonged and extreme, leads to traumatic changes. The interview provided a reminder that Harry and Meghan werent afraid to talk about the mental health challenges they have dealt with, and their responses to Ms. Winfreys questions underscored a message they seemed keen to send to the world: In some capacity or another, they will continue doing work similar to what they were doing as members of the royal family. BB: Yeah, that is really nice, and I like it at the top of the mountain at the hike. Okay. BB: Here are your songs. Its a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and its one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our futureopening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way. Your ability to be curious and explore the world is directly related to your ability to feel safe and settled, and so kids that dont feel safe dont want to see new things. OW: Well, its a story that started over 30 years ago, when I first interviewed Dr. Perry for a show about Zero to Six. After all, his son is engaged to Netflix's biggest star, Millie Bobby Brown. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Bren Brown from her Media Kit page or license photos from Getty Images, etc. BB: Ive never seen the imitation, but Ive seen the humor, and sometimes it is like fast and wicked funny. Because that used to be The last one, as I had a boyfriend in the 70s, and that was our favorite song. So I thought really. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" Why are you trying to predict peoples emotions and behavior? You can go first this time. To coincide with the book's release on April 27, Oprah is setting out on a virtual book tour throughout April in May in partnership with independent bookstores. Oprah Winfrey: Well, thank you for having us to talk about it, because I believe that that question of, What happened to you? is one of the keys to literally unlocking you yourself, and its If we ask it collectively of ourselves and other people in our relationships, then it becomes a key to unlocking us. A Raw Look Behind Palace Doors as Meghan and Harry Speak: Oprah Its unbelievable. Meghan already knew that she and Archie weren't a priority. OW: Well, thats why we have the ACE questions on Page 106 and 07 of the book, because its just to give you an idea. As host and supervising producer of the top-rated, award-winning The Oprah Winfrey Show, she entertained, enlightened, and uplifted millions of viewers for twenty-five years. But when it was bad, duck. He also offers a path toward healing. Youre not getting into the weeds, youre not learning much about them. Our editors handpick the products that we feature. BB: Alright, yall ready for the rapid fire? @tariro, What We Learned From Meghan and Harrys Interview, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/08/world/europe/recap-of-harry-meghan-oprah-interview.html. Oprah Winfrey's interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle aired Sunday night, giving a shocking look at life at the palace and life away from the royal monarchy. Okay. And he said, Yeah, your brain will not be the same when were finished with this conversation, as it was when we started this conversation.. Explain to the audience what DSM is. Lets jump to our conversation. Thank you. So I pay attention to that a lot. But I use my Kindle or my iPad, so thats on my nightstand. Because we found as Oprah This is, I think, one of the most useful parts of what we talk about in the book, is that when your experiences happen, make a huge difference. We work diligently to protect those we love. I think it was 1988, so I was 34 and all that time I had no idea where that was coming from. : Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and The big word that I think just captures the whole heart of the book, Healing. Opening up on CBS This Morning, Winfrey shared with co-host Tony Dokoupil the basis of her new book. And I think that was like late 89, early 90s. When the real question should be, What happened to these kids? And something just opened up in me, I thought, Wow. I had the biggest aha, and I thought, Oh, thats true for the kids, its true for all of my girls at the school. Because Ive heard many teachers say, Were doing all of these things, and they have this great opportunity and to break the cycle of poverty. Or is the queen of incisive interviews (and basically everything) a latter-day Tracy Flick, getting it all done herself without input from anyone else? We also talk about the privileges of regulation, about vulnerability, and curiosity. Whoo. Number 1. and PrivacyPolicy. Do you remember what happened? And I use that term, and what that basically means is its a 50,000 foot fly over of somebodys life. So I dont know what that means neurologically or. A lot of neural pathways can be formed that are damaging and that hold us back when were young, but the brain also seems to be able to have, at least yall write about, a very powerful reparative function that in connection and in relationship, we can repair and build new pathways that did not exist. And Oprah, the great amplifier of not just answers, but really important questions. BB: I just wanted to know really. The discussion. The book emphasizes hope, too, and focuses on how relationships and love in different ways help us unlearn and deprogram from trauma. From the beginning, the couple said, the tabloids were vicious to Meghan, making unabashedly racist comments about her. BP: One is the event itself. Oprah and Dr. Bruce Perry discuss their new book What Happened to You? The five songs. So we have been friends and cohorts for a long time. And I have profound love and respect for her, so So excited to get to talk to her today. BB: You got to give me a snapshot, Bruce. "When you're upset or in fear or angry or antagonized state, and you're trying to reason with a persona child, your spouse, your bossthey literally cannot hear you," Oprah said. One of the most memorable moments of Harry and Meghans wedding is the image of Prince Charles, Harrys father, walking Meghan down the aisle and Harry saying to his father, Thank you, Pa.. Though Meghan says being a part of the royal family is "nothing what it looks like. BB: Yeah, but then when theyre like, Tie your arms and legs, but Im going to do the exact same thing, but youve lost control over yourself. Meghan realized she wasn't protected after they were married, and said the Palace was willing to lie to protect other members of the royal family. BB: Yeah, good answers to that. For some reason, it just freaked me out a little bit. Now, the interesting thing about that is that when you take those numbers and you correlate that, and this is an important distinction, when you correlate that with physical health, mental health, social health items, you find that the higher your score, the more risk there is for heart disease, lung disease, mental health problems, poor relationships. And so much when Ive worked in domestic violence and sexual assault, the behaviors that made those experiences survivable become pathologized. Meghan and Harry's Oprah Interview Recap: Everything You May Have OW: And what I have learned is for me, what has been extremely healing is being able to give to other people what I did not get. Aqua Media Cologne forte embodies a feeling of balance and harmony. And As, by Stevie Wonder. (2021, May 5). This amazing book, What Happened to You? And they also tend to have wisdom. Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Bruce Perry in Conversation | SXSW EDU 2021 So I got to get down the mountain, so I cant have too much. Then, when he and Meghan moved to the United States, Harry said, the royal family stopped giving them money. So whats wrong with them, that theyre not responding? So that question brought us to this moment with you and this moment of releasing this book into the world, because I wanted to have my name aligned with Dr. Perrys, just to give it as much lift as possible, because I think that question can help us transform not only our lives, but begin to transform the lives of other people. OW: No, but I actually I calm myself. Over the last 30 years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician, and researcher in childrens mental health, and the neurosciences, holding a variety of academic positions. But if I have any kind of negative experience or even a conversation thats disturbing, I will calm myself with poetry. Oprah, Bruce Perry on New Book "What Happened to You" on BP: Well, it could happen in the first couple of months of life. [laughter]. Meghan and Harry went to lunch at Royal Lodge with other members of the royal family the first time she met Queen Elizabeth, where she learned how to curtsy outside of the house minutes before meeting the Queen. You can find a list of additional resources at SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources. BP: People And we write about this in the book, and I think we handle it in a pretty good way. And I think certainly for lots of people who grew up the way I did, not feeling loved and supported inside your home. Until this day, there's no explanation for this. This is not a surprise to anybody. One of the things that we struggle with in this field, and Im sure you ran into this in your work, Bren, is that a lot of peoples experiences that were negative, that really laid our worldview and are the foundation of our emotional and behavioral functioning, took place before we were able to create an autobiographical memory. When asked by Oprah whether she was silent or silenced, Meghan said "the latter." Thats what you are describing. He said, Ive seen how generous Oprah is with her time and energy and the last thing I would do is be a tap on her bandwidth. BB: Right. Im going to tell you what I really struggle with, and I think weve talked about this before, Oprah. BB: I have to ask why you Is that your neurology? When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. her friends and family) were always directed to give "no comment" to "protect her." In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. Sound design by Kristen Acevedo, and music is by the amazing Carrie Rodriguez and the amazing Gina Chavez. @sarahlyall, Tariro Mzezewa is a national correspondent covering the American South. And I think with this idea of using what has happened to you as your leverage, a power base for yourself, is one of the reasons why I wanted to be a part of this book. OW: It says that I appreciate the magnificence of my life, that Amazing Grace is the theme song for my life, and everything else that surrounds it is a part of that grace. So I went before Congress and was working on that legislation, and Dr. Perry was a part of helping me with that. But this is why this book is to me is so important, no one stopped to say, Whats the story fueling the behaviors?. Have you subscribed to theGrios podcast Dear Culture? BB: Yeah. And that leads to resilience. And people feel it. I cant remember the book of poetry, but I have a book of poetry by Mark Nepo. Okay, Bruce, answer what the ACE is. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. 25 Most-Watched Oprah Show Episodes What Happened to You? By Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey Oprah Winfrey makes . Good. There is absolutely no place for racism in our society, she said in an interview with Sky News. But the narrative about, you know, making Kate cry, I think was the beginning of a real character assassination. Oprah Winfrey on what she learned after interviewing 37,000 people BB: And I felt very much like, You dont know me. Meghan said that was "a turning point" around six months after her wedding. Through the power of media, Oprah Winfrey has created an unparalleled connection with people around the world. She said it was a real constant thought. Okay. Kuang's latest novel, here, then dive in with us throughout the month. Amazing Grace, by Aretha Franklin or Wintley Phipps. We were using a lot of the traditional approaches, and we work with kids for three years, and they had great invested families and they tried hard and we just We were doing the wrong thing for them. BB: Well, Im grateful for that, Im grateful for that being on your Because then we can do the podcast. The more we understand trauma, the more we understand the brain, two of the greatest mysteries, I think of mental health, public health, emotional well-being. BP: I just got done watching a really good Swedish detective thing with Kenneth Branagh. The renowned neuroscientist and trauma expert just wrote and published an instant No. Dr. Perry is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, ofThe Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog,a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children andBorn For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. And the question was always like, Why are you always so controlling? For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above. All rights reserved. That happens to me quite a bit. So youve got Hozier right up front. But if youre continually in a school where youre feeling like you dont belong, youre not the right color, youre not the right gender, youre not the right religious beliefs, whatever it is, if you are continually in the outgroup, it leads to the same emotional, physical, and social consequences as capital T trauma. So listen, I was so intimidated when I did the commencement speech at Harvard, and so when I finished, Im looking for anybody just to say, Okay, you did okay. And I was talking about that whole question of people always wanting to be validated and knowing that, Did you see me?
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